ONCE I started writing my story I thought back again to while i was 16, as for me this was my defining developing moment. However, having began I’ve realised that coming out never halts it’s just something you figure out how to do. However rather than bore about days gone by 15 many years of my entire life, I’ll keep it not at all hard and begin where all good stories start, a long time ago….
WHILE I was 18 and left home for the sparkly lighting of London, I used to be always cautious about writing my coming out story. This was not because it is painful to show or pay attention to but because I usually experienced it lacked a few of the drama that other folks spoke about. I understand this sounds absurd but at that time I quite liked being theatrical and melodramatic and when I told people stories I always embellished little details to glorify the humor or tragedy of the moment. Rather stupidly, I thought that if a story wasn’t comparable to a story from Dallas, or in my case Emmerdale, it wouldn’t be interesting to hear and therefore and only ever shared it after i was pushed. Thankfully after 15 years I’ve almost expanded out of my dependence on my entire life to be validated through performing out soap opera style scripts, so I’ve made the decision it’s about time to talk about my story.
From being little, my parents always explained and my sister that if either folks decided to have a partner of the same sex then that was absolutely fine. In fact my mother used to often meet the criteria this statement with her opinion that if parents can’t love their children for who they are, they shouldn’t be permitted to have children. At that time I had been quite oblivious to this statement, but it has remained with me ever since.
Added to this open-minded upbringing, I also visited a rather progressive state school where being gay wasn’t seen as something ‘irregular’, but instead was generally accepted. EASILY wished to learn and rehearse dance sequences from films like ‘Bring it On’ in the neighborhood park then I usually got a good audience to accompany me. Even when participating in pursuits which were seen as more ‘macho’, such as athletics, I understood people there who either were homosexual or positively backed it. My best friends I made at college are still my best friends 18 years on, and the experiences we’ve all shared together is a main part of this.
When I decided to come out at 16, despite the friendships I needed made I had been still a little apprehensive. This wasn’t because I used to be concerned about the response but because informing people your personal and close thoughts is always difficult. I told my sister first as I understood that she wouldn’t have trouble with it, but I still were left with the doing the enviable Gwyneth Paltrow. However as I suspected, my sister explained she was always there for me personally. From then on I knew that I had to tell my parents relatively quickly as my sister got never been proficient at keeping secrets, but rather than wait for me to tell them, they casually told me 1 day, that they ‘understood’ and it really wasn’t an issue. I’ve always been grateful for this as it sensed liked nothing got changed between us, everything was always the same and me being homosexual was simultaneous as their acceptance of me preference R&B divas.
Having such a good response to developing really helped me when I was younger to simply accept who I am and also enjoy being gay. I didn’t pay much focus on it at the time, but from then my acceptance of my lifestyle, helped me be sure choices, like the associations I’ve made, the university I visited and the profession I went directly into. I didn’t want to go into places where I thought it could be a problem, through concern with not knowing how to deal with it or a negative response. Interestingly I haven’t lost this stress and anxiety, but luckily I haven’t got many causes for concern.
I’ve realised that, despite my relatively self-explanatory experience, and having met a great deal of people from the LGBT community, the process of coming out can have a huge impact on people.
If you have a good or bad experience, the journey you proceed through to access that time is a challenging and emotional one. First of all you have to realise that you are different, then you have to work out what this difference methods to you, and before you inform anyone you have to simply accept it yourself.
The other thing I realised is that coming out doesn’t ever really stop. Even though you think it’s absolutely apparent, there’s always an instant where people don’t realise and you feel the need to tell them. Once you meet new people, deciding to tell, or never to inform them about who you are, is a consistent decision you have to make and though it gets easier, for me there’s always a small amount of apprehension.
I wanted to share my story to say thank you to my family and friends who supported me. I’ve not done this as often as I will have. It might have appeared not a big offer to them at the time, but it was a large deal to me and I’ll continually be grateful for the support I received, it’s made me who I am today.
Other Coming Out Story – Gay Secret Relationship
Coming Out, Gay Secret Relationship, Bullying, Bisexual?, Gay Kissing, Coming out to Parents. All of this is mixed up in my Coming Out Story. It is a long one with a lot of happenings. But I used a long time to figure out who I was, and to respect that. I hope you like it.